Grief

My heart is so heavy as I write this. The doctor's have given Steph's Dad no hope... the family is already grieving. Somehow in all this, they perforated his bowel and now that is the main issue. It's slowly poisoning his body and causing the other issues (his heart and kidneys) to get worse. The doctors recommended turning off the defibulator since it's not regulating his heart anyway and its' just causing more pain. So that's what they did this morning... that's what he asked them to do. Two of his grandchildren's brithdays are coming up in the next few days and he didn't want to die on either of those days... he didn't want their day to always be linked to his death. WOW. Unless God intervenes with a miracle, he will slowly slip away.

I'm so broken up over this. Steph and I have been friends for a long time and her sister Jenn is a good friend too. They adore their Dad and for good reason-- he's a good man. This will be such a great loss for them and all their siblings and especially their Mom. They've been married like 50 years. Steph's mom was a widow with a little girl when they met. Mr. Don was instantly smitten with her and her daughter. They got married and he adopted Kathy as his own. Then they had 7 more, plus two boys that were stillborn. He loves his family and they love him.

My Dad and Mr. Don have had all the same heart ailments, so we've always walked this road together. she supports me when my Dad is down and I try to reciprocate. Right now, I feel so inadequate to the task of being strong for her. I have cried so much for them since Friday- this just happened so fast. I try not to cry when I'm talking to her but then I just lose it. I was just talking the other day about Steph and Den trying to have a baby. She never said this, but I felt like one of the reasons to do it so quickly after her health issues is that she wanted her Dad to be apart of her kids lives. I was just telling someone that the other day... when all this started, I thought again about it. Last night, she told me that very thing, just crying her eyes out. Her dad will never see her kids, hold her kids, love them. I so understand that... I fear the same thing. What do I say to that??? I just don't know. I usually have a million things to say, but now I can't find one word to make this better for her. That hurts me-- that I can't help her bear this load. She has ALWAYS been right there for me when my folks have had surgeries and scares. I want to do the same for her...

Lord help me to be just what she needs. Give me words of comfort and strength to speak to her. Be with her Dad- let him feel you near. I know you can still heal him and I ask that you do, your will be done. Be a constant companion to her family and let her lost family members reach out to you in their sorrow and pain. Please Lord, ease their pain as only you can.