Help me, Lord...

Do you ever have those days of utter confusion? I do... this weekend was my "confused" weekend. You know what I mean? I try to wrap my brain around situations or incidents that defy my thinking... then I make myself crazy because I can't Make it make sense or make them understand. I want so badly to be able to fix people-- fix them to my way of thinking or acting. Fix them so they don't hurt me or make me cry. But you know what? As I grow up into this "adulthood", I realize that I can't fix someone else. It's not in my power. And sometimes they don't need to be fixed- I do. Sometimes all you can do is hand them or the situation to God and say "Here, Lord. You know what needs to change, whether it be in me or them. Change it according to Your will, not mine. Help me to love them like you love me."

Unconditional love is sooo hard. "It keeps no record of sin" 1 Cor 13:3. Real love doesn't remember when the person did the same thing to you 3 months ago or 3 years ago. It doesnt't keep track of wrongs. My Mama is like that... I am so blessed to have a Godly mother yet she shows me how far I have to go. We have family and church members that have done things to her that honestly make me livid and break my heart... yet she loves them anyway. Seriously, would give them her last drink of water in the desert. I am soooo not like that. I allow others actions to cause my reactions to them. I hate that I am that way. You can't have a "breaking point" as a Christian-- if Christ had had one, I would have blown by it long ago. I know that there are times when people or situations become unhealthy to us as believers and we must separate ourselves... but I do it when it's just too hard for me to love them anymore. I so need God to work on my heart- to toughen it so that wrongs just bounce off, to soften it that I feel overwhelming love at ALL times.

"Lord, give me the heart of Christ. A heart of unconditional love that even when being spit upon, beaten, and bruised, His eyes were full of pain not for Himself, but for Their need of a Savior. Let me love more than I am loved, even when I am hated or mistreated. Help me to let things go and be both thick skinned and soft hearted. Thank you for your unconditional, steadfast love that has been my mainstay for all my life... I love you, Father."